a father .

So I was wondering and thinking about something today

and its been on my mind all morning .

I was wondering about girls who's fathers aren't in their lives

and all of the stereotypes surrounding girls under these circumstances

and I wanted to sort through and break down some of these ideas .

What exactly is a father?

and

what might having one in your life do for you?

Father : a male parent

Parent : a father or mother; one who begets or one who gives birth to or nurtures and raises a child

Not all but many people assume

that girls who don't have fathers

turn out bad or unfavorable

or

they believe that the girl

wont have as stable an upbringing as a young lady

who has a father in her life

they believe that the young lady without a father is more prone

to try out and do things that aren't good for them

and some studies say that young ladies without fathers in their lives

turn out to be promiscuous .

Learning and hearing these things infuriate me

in MANY ways .

First off I would LOVE to know

what young ladies they do this research on?!

Second I would love to know

where they got these girls from?!

and third

what circumstances were these girls under before and besides

not having a father present ?

The reason I feel so strongly about this is because

I happen to be one of those young ladies "with no father"

and I am nothing like any of the stereotypes I hear of or have heard of .

However I will say this

I believe and have seen

many cases of a young lady not having a father in their life

and she will look for what she believes is love in all the wrong places

the only problem many girls have is that they believe that the love

that their father didn't provide can be given and substituted by any man

and that is the worst possible assumption!!

Just because you meet someone who is nice to you

doesn't mean that they have your best interest in mind

and just because someone gives you a little attention doesn't

mean they plan to stay around in the long run.

I want girls to wise up to the fact that just because you have sex with

someone doesn't mean they owe you anything.

Many girls I know tend to believe that if they have a little relationship with someone

the person will feel obligated to stay around

THEY WONT!

You cant depend on ANY man to feel obligated to fill

the place in your heart that your father never felt the need to fill

and it hurts to know that a man who is suppose to love you

and care about you doesn't

however that should only make you stronger when the next man comes along.

I feel as though when you have no father your skin should be tougher

and you should well and fully understand by a certain age

that every man you meet isn't meant to be in your life

long term

and after not having a father in your life

you should understand that you have to really get to know someone

before you give them your all

and above all before you decide to give them you.

Having a father that I know of

and only live about 2O minutes away from

hurts a lot and I wonder all the time

what I could have done different

to make him want to be around me and stay in my life .

I cant count the amount of times I have

thought of all the sports I could have taken

or all the amazing things I could have done SOOOO much more better

to make him have even the smallest interest in me

but he never came around and still isn't in my life .

I've spent time around him

and plenty of time with his family

whom I love a lot , however

even still he has no interest in me

and for a reason I may never know

however I must say

it has only made me stronger and made me want to push for so much more

so that at the end of the day I still did everything

that I wanted to do and I still have achieved so much to make my mother proud of me.

I want for nothing and I have all the love that I need

so I'm good.

don't get me wrong I'm hurt everyday by him not being in my life

but each little scar I get from him

only make my achievements seem soo much more better

because I did all of it without him.

Many young women without fathers

do GREAT things everyday

and achieve SOOO much

I just wanted to break down some of the walls that have been set up for us

because not many people try to find out

about the few young ladies who aren't

and don't plan to become Statistics .

before I end off my post

I want to say thank you to my mother and

my uncle Keith

because they have been everything

I have needed and

I cant say I have a father but I have had my uncle

I'm grateful for him because

he doesn't have to be there for me

it isn't his obligation

but he willingly does

everything my father should do for me

and hes always proud of everything I do

and has never made me feel less then

or not good enough

ILOVEYOU

and that's how its been put .