A few minutes before 12

Just a few minutes before 12

Its the eve of my birthday and the year of 18 was Great

This year I completed my first year of COLLEGE

and I learned about more of who I am and who I am becoming as a young lady

I've come to appreciate many more things,

and I've realized that the best things are most simple and sweet

and sometimes you don't see how good things really are until you

have the chance to view many other peoples points of view and life situations.

The Year of 18

I have faced hurt, doubt,astonishment,love,excitement,pleasure,Independence

and soooo many other things

I have have made a small number of new friends

and i have left behind a small portion of my past

and all for good reason

to better myself.

In the Year of 19

I hope to experience much more then what I already have

I'm enjoying life

I'm enjoying myself

and I'm going to learn to further all my experiences

and to further learn about and embrace the people I call friends and family.

LoveLifeFlavie'

And that's how its been put .

Who knows ?

To worry or to worry?

To worry would imply that you care

Not to worry would imply that you do not

however

can you care and just give up on worrying?

worrying and wondering

what if you just leave it up to what ever it will be

and say that

you did your best and if that doesn't work for things,

then who knows !

and who's to say your worry isn't going to waste?

and who's to say that your worry is going to be useful in the end?

and who's to say that your worry will actually mean anything?

who knows?

So I've made a decision amidst my few worries

i simply will not

i simply will not worry

where will this get me in the long run?

I have yet to meet anyone who has had any benefit from their worries

so i have decided that worries mean nothing

nothing at all

and if you don't complain then your worries just sit on your thoughts

why waste good thought space?

So I'm going to try something new

if something comes up

and i feel like a "worry" might start to occur

I'll simply think it over 2 times 3 just to be extra sure

and decide if I'm going to care or not

all this worrying that people do isn't worth it

I've been thinking and it really isn't

because either way you go

it will get better or it just wont

and we know this so why worry?

and i know why

because even thought we shouldn't

as humans we have expectations

and we believe that even though we know the direction something is going in

we believe that if we wish or think hard enough in the opposite direction that

things will magically change .

So a new goal is

respect the course that thing may go in unless

you really have the power to change them

if not learn to appreciate and work with the hand you've been dealt

for your current situation.

And that's how its been put .

Time . So thats what it is

Time, I was thinking about time

and I was wondering about the days that go past,

I'm changing .

As people grow up, they don't realize that their changing

unknowing genuinely changing

and it doesn't even matter if its for good or bad

they are simply changing .

Time doesn't allow us not to change,

we have to as apart of being who we are

and we wont ever fully be who we are

unless we are changed by time and events .

Time and change

they warrant both

new and old

with them comes seasons

different outlooks and feelings toward everything

even if you hadn't expected it to turn out that way .

I believe that in some aspects everyone doesn't

embrace their changes

and

sometimes we try to hide behind our old selves

in order to keep from becoming who we are destine to be .

Hiding or excluding change from yourself

isn't going to help you,

you simply have to learn to embrace

even the events in life that you don't want to .

Change for yourself

never for anyone else

don't stop your change to save anyone else's feelings

be who you have to be

in order to be your true self

don't hide

don't lie

don't feel like you cant be you

even if you have to let go

let go

let go

of everything else that you know .

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I want you to be nothing but exactly who and what you want to be

I want you to be happy

I want you to change and embrace your newest self

I want you to leave me behind if you have to

I want you to be the best possible you

even if that means your new you

doesn't include me

dedicated to you .

So that's how its been put .

Friends to think about .

"I hate when friends I know become friends I knew"

-My friend Lauren

What exactly causes friendships to end?

well besides many different conflicts

whats the real and official reason for friendships ending?

Is it that all possibilities to keep the friendship alive were exhausted,

so no one took any more time to try,

could it be that the people simply out grew each other,

or that they just started to grow in different directions?

I was wondering today while I had some time alone,

what exactly causes friendships to end really really really?

I can remember when I was in grade school,

and kids would be upset with each other and find

5OO different ways to end up speaking because their "friend"

meant so much to them at the time .

What ever happened to those strong feelings we had for friends?

Where they simply left behind with our childish games and

grade school learning's?

Are we growing and learning or actually forgetting

special more critical things that we should be holding onto,

and remembering?

I know as a child we don't really believe that our friends

can do us any wrong,

however as adults we defend our friends to the end

and as soon as we have a disagreement or someone gets upset

your ready to throw that same friend under a bus .

It upsets me how we let little things come between

what seem like meaningful friendships,

and can forget people who we didn't ever think we would be able to live without

a few days earlier .

How can we now disregard the fact that

someone that we valued and cared for

are nothing but distant waves, and if even genuine stares when in passing by?

I feel as thought when we were younger we might have had

a better concept on the value of friendships,

not in a very big sense but in the most meaningful parts.

I miss real friends and not seasonal friends

I miss genuine friends and not fake friends

I miss friends I remember and not friends that I am forced to forget

because of silly arguments and meaningless fights

I want to know that I have friends

I want to know that I'm not just a friend that's good when I'm around

I want to be assured that even if I leave for a week, month, or year

that my place in a friends heart wont ever be tampered with

or replaced with someone who has had the time to be around more then I.

Anytime I know that I can be replaced without thought

I know that I never actually had a place from the beginning

and that's what hurts more when I wonder about friends

I knew .

I appreciate friends that I can grow with and even watch grow no matter how different their growth may be from my own.

I appreciate friends that don't mind being themselves because if I'm your friend

you have no reason to ever feel like you'll be judged by me.

And if we're friends distance, words, and nothing else would matter,

because at the end of the day we know our places in each others life.

I always appreciate friendships that flourish even when friends aren't around

as much as you would like them to be

it shows a silent understanding of your special bond.

Its a beautiful thing when you can miss out on a friend for a long period of time

and when you see each other catch up as if you've only been away for a day.

Appreciate the friends you know .

To: all my current, absent, late, and in between friends . I love you

Adia Ferris you'll always be my bestfriendforlife .

(i didnt have a picture of us on my laptop)

And that's how its been put .